


Before Tomorrow

by Spockzilla



Series: No Tomorrow [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz pov, Humor, In Carry On Baz loves Simon’s sock feet and that’s cute so I bring it up whenever I can, Intrusive Thoughts, I’m ignoring Wayward Son, Kissing, M/M, No Wayward Son Spoilers, Roses are red - Violets grow from a seed - My fic has dumb poems - You should give it a read, Sequel, Simon POV, Strip Studying, baths, mature rated mostly because I wanna make dirty jokes, starts with fluff, there will be drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-11-10 16:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20854667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spockzilla/pseuds/Spockzilla
Summary: Simon finally got out of his time loop. He lived out twelve Saturdays, fell in love with Baz and finally made it to Sunday.Now him and Baz are in an amazing relationship. What could go wrong?





	1. Chapter One

**SIMON**

I bolt upright to _ that _song again.

_ If you change your mind, I'm the first in line _  
_ Honey I'm still free _ _  
Take a chance on me_

It can’t be!

“No, no, no!” I shout over the music. “The loop is over! I made it to Sunday! We fixed it!”

“It’s not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock you fucking numpty,” Baz says, sounding confused.

“This can’t be happening!” I yell as I rake my hands through my hair.

Baz runs out the door and I get out of bed and follow him. I start running down the stairs, then I trip. As I tumble, I feel a sharp pain.

Then I wake up covered in sweat.

It’s still dark. _ It was just a nightmare _, I realize as I catch my breath.

It’s blissfully quiet. Baz is still asleep in his own bed. With a book on his chest.

I fell asleep while he was still studying so he must have decided to sleep in his own bed so he wouldn’t wake me up. Or he accidentally fell asleep.

But I’m burning up and I know he won’t mind, so I get up, take the book off of him and slip into bed with him. He sleeps like the dead so I’m able to cuddle up to his cool body without bothering him.

It’s still going to be hours before breakfast so I let myself drift back to sleep.

**BAZ**

I wake up in a tangle of Simon’s limbs. He must have woken up sometime last night and gotten into bed with me. I’m grateful for the warmth. And waking up with the boy I love is nice too.

For a moment I consider slipping out of bed and playing the song to mess with him. But after the dream I had, the idea puts knots in my stomach.

I dreamt I was in one of the mornings from the loop I saw in Simon’s mind. It was strange. It was from my own point of view and I actually said, “It's not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock, you fucking numpty.” It felt like I couldn’t not say it. I didn’t want to say it so I just ran away. I don’t remember anything after that.

Plus our new relationship changes everything. There’s so many things I can do now, and so many things I can’t do. I’m not going to miss the physical fighting, but resisting the urge to torment him will take some getting used to.

I slip out of bed carefully and get dressed. Getting dressed before him means I don’t have to go into the bathroom to change while he’s getting dressed.

But he will miss breakfast if he doesn’t get up soon. Luckily, I don’t have to be sneaky about waking him up now.

“Simon,” I say softly, and pet his head.

He doesn’t move.

“Simon,” I say louder.

Still nothing.

“Scones,” I say louder.

He lifts his head. “Hmm?”

I roll my eyes and say, “You’re like one of those dogs that only responds to ‘chicken,’ because it thinks that’s it’s name.” 

“Sod off,” he says sleepily, and hugs a pillow.

I wish I could get back and bed with him and just stay there, but it’s Monday and we have classes.

“Get dressed, before we miss breakfast.”

At that, he jumps out of bed, hurries over to his wardrobe and starts stripping. He never used to do that in front of me before.

I know that loop was a horrible nightmare. But gods bless it.

I avert my eyes, but I also sneak glances. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m so used to stealing glances already. It’s the same as before, just without trousers.

When he turns around, I’m making heavy eye contact with the bathroom door.

“Ready?” he asks.

I nod and we walk out together. 

**SIMON**

It’s not a secret that Baz and I are dating. It’s actually all people have been talking about lately. (We haven’t told people about the loop because Penny thinks it’d be bad if people knew I could just wish things true with magic. So people are surprised how fast Baz and I went from being at each other's throats to at each other’s mouths.)

Baz sits with us now at meals. I told Baz his friends could all sit with us too, but he says Dev has a crush on Agatha he doesn’t want to encourage it. And I am over Agatha, but I don’t think I’d enjoy seeing Dev flirt with her. And I don’t think she’d enjoy it either.

I offered to sit with them. Just me. But Baz says the only reason they’re not cheesed off with him is because he told them he is doing this all to infiltrate our gang. And they wouldn’t appreciate my company. To be honest, I think even with the excuse they’re still a little cheesed off at him about us. I know Agatha is.

Yesterday, after Baz and I explained everything to Penny, she did her best to reassure Agatha about him at lunch. Agatha still isn’t totally on board, but I think she’s happy that if there’s something wrong, it’s Penny’s responsibility and not hers.

She keeps giving Baz and I uncomfortable glances. I’m not holding it against her. He is sitting with one arm around me and using the other to sip his tea. And I’m pretty sure all the hickies on my neck are visible. Plus until two days ago, Baz and I were practically fighting over her, and now she knows he was just using her to get to me and I still don’t know how I feel about her. So, she’s being more civil about it than I could have hoped for.

I would say Baz is oblivious to Agatha’s discomfort, but I know he’s not and just doesn’t care.

After spending a lot of time yesterday trying refresh me on all the material for my classes and helping me with my homework, Penny keeps chastising me about not using my time in the loop to study. “So, remind me again. When the day was slowed, and you were waiting for me to fix it, what were you doing instead of studying?”.

I blush and Baz smirks. Him and I both know I was reading The Captive Prince. By far, the smuttiest (and gayest) book I’ve ever encountered in my whole life.

“I- Uhh- Just reading a novel I found in Baz’s wardrobe,” I say.

“What novel?”

Her and I have a ‘no secrets’ pact. I don’t know what to say.

“You wouldn’t know it,” Baz says casually in my defense, then gets up and says, “Excuse me. I have to report to my minions on all the intelligence I’ve gathered from my mission.”

Then he spends the few remaining minutes of breakfast with Dev and Neil.

* * *

When I get to class, I sit in my usual spot in the back.

When Baz comes in I expect him to take his usual spot in the front with Dev, but he walks to the back and sits at the table with me. He smiles and takes my hand.

“What about Dev?” I ask.

“You’re more hopeless in elocution without my help than Dev is,” he says and squeezes my hand.

I don’t know how he does it. He makes me smile by insulting me.

We end up sitting together in every class. Penny doesn’t mind in the ones we also share with her. I think she likes this a lot more than him always trying to antagonize me into going off but she still rolls her eyes at us.

Baz cast **on the other hand** on himself to make himself left handed so he could hold my hand with his right while taking notes.

And he’s so patient with me throughout the day. It’s nothing like before. He helps me and doesn’t get annoyed when I struggle. And after a two week “break” I’m struggling a lot even after Penny’s attempt catch me up.

When I was trying to do the cleaning spell **I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch**, I thought for sure he’d get frustrated. But he stayed calm the whole time and didn’t make fun of me at all. He just told me to say is very slowly and repeat it then speed up each time I got it right. I still can’t say it, but I’m getting better a lot faster than I usually do with tongue twisters.

When he leaned in and whispered, “later, when we’re alone in our room, we can practice twisting our tongues some more,” I think I probably turned scarlet from how hot my face felt. 

**BAZ**

Sitting with Simon in class is a lot more fun than I anticipated.

I enjoy school, but I’m normally so far ahead of the class I’m fairly bored. But helping Simon is entertaining. And Crowley knows he needs it. And not just because he’s out of practice. He’s always been in desperate need of help. He had only been getting by because of Bunce.

I wonder if this is how my mother felt when she taught. It’s surprisingly rewarding when he finally get something right.

But he keeps getting distracted by the other students giving us weird looks. Every time, I just grip his hand a little tighter and sneer at them. They always look away. No one is stupid enough to challenge me or The Chosen One. Especially after everyone saw Marcus’s face after Saturday. The combination of the footballs and Simon’s fists really did a number on him. And even though I know Marcus didn’t tell anyone what happened, and Simon didn’t tell anyone what happened, everyone knows what happened.

The weird looks will fade soon.

After our last class, Bunce asks us if we want to study in the library.

“I was actually going to study with Baz, if you don’t mind,” Simon says.

Bunce rolls her eyes but smiles and says, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Simon and I hold hands all the way back to our room, and the moment the door is closed he throws his bag (with his laptop inside it) on the floor, and pins me to the door. His mouth is on mine before I have time to blink. His tongue is in my mouth before I have time to think.

I relish the way his tongue caresses mine. It glides over mine, teasing it until I start kissing back. Our kisses become increasingly passionate and sloppy, making smacking sounds.

We do this for what could be minutes or hours, until I hold him back a little. He still tries to reach my mouth but I say, “what happened to studying?”

“What happened to twisting our tongues?”

I grab his head and give him a deep and thorough snog, then pull his head back and say, “after we study.”

He huffs and picks up his bag and sets it on the desk.

“We could make this fun,” I say.  
  
“How?” he asks, sounding dubious.

“I quiz you on Magical Words, and for each you get right, I take an article of clothing off but for each you get wrong, you take something off.”

“Strip studying?” he asks like it’s the best idea he’s ever heard.

I nod and sit on my bed.  
  
“No books,” I say. “You should know all this from studying with Bunce.”

He nods and sits on his bed, facing me, looking excited.

“What does **back on your feet** do?” I ask.

“It helps someone up,” he says with a ridiculous smile on his face.

I take off my blazer and ask, “What does **all thumbs** do?”

“Turns all your fingers into thumbs.”

I am in love with a moron.

“Take your blazer off,” I tell him. He does.  
  
I hand him a pen and paper, take out my wand and say, “ ** _All thumbs!_ **”

He stares at his hands a bit confused then I tell him to write something. He tries but his hands are so clumsy, whatever he’s writing is illegible.

Luckily the spell only lasts a moment.

“How would you fix what you have written so others can read it?” I ask.

“Rewrite it,” he says.

I do my best not to roll my eyes. I don’t want to discourage him.

I tap the paper with my wand and say “** _chicken scratch!_ ** ” and the words clear up. It just says his name.

He takes off a shoe.

“What does **leave no stone unturned** do?” I ask.

“It turns the room inside out, taking out drawers and turning them over so you can search it. I wish I knew that one when I was going through your stuff. I would have found your secret stash faster.”

I take off my tie and say, “show me.”

He takes out his wand and says, “** _leave no stone unturned!_ **”

A couple drawers slide open, but they don’t come out and flip over and everything stays inside.

“How would you undo this?” I ask.

He doesn’t even bother to answer. He just takes off his other shoe. All the blood I’ve got in me rushes to my ears and cheeks when I look at his stockinged feet.

I point my wand at it and say, “** _right as rain!_ **” Everything goes back to its proper place.

We do this for a while before we get to the point where I’m shirtless (I still have shoes and socks but I chose to take off my shirt first) and he’s just in his pants. It’s nice- Crowly, it’s beyond nice, it’s breathtaking- to be able to see him like this without pretending not to notice. But he looks nervous.

“I think we have a clear winner,” I say, smugly. I don’t want him to do anything he’s uncomfortable with so I’m going to end the game here.

He looks relieved and disappointed.

“How about the loser has to snog the winner?” I suggest.

He jumps to his feet and is on me in an instant. He’s pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. The feeling of our bare chests pressed together is exhilarating. I almost regret prolonging this to help him study.

I put a hand on his hip and a hand in his hair while his tongue is deep in my mouth. He has boundless energy. I don’t think I’d be able to keep up with him if I weren’t a vampire.

His kisses trail across my face to my neck and he starts sucking. He has been relentlessly trying to give me a hickey. Every time he creates one it fades away in minutes.

He tilts his head back and groans. It’s incredibly sexy. I think I forgot how to breathe.

Then he says, “it’s dinner time” and climbs off me.

I quietly huff.

His stomach is like an alarm clock that goes off at the exact time for meals. Excluding for breakfast today and during the loop. Normally he’s up offensively early for breakfast.

As he’s buttoning up his shirt after putting on his trousers, he looks at me, noticing I’m not getting dressed.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks.

“No. I’m just going to stay here and read.”

“You haven’t eaten anything all day,” he says.

Technically that’s untrue. I went to the loo, ate a mint Aero bar then cast **tide you over** on myself.

“I’m not hungry,” I tell him.

He frowns and asks, “do you have an eating disorder?”

I roll my eyes.

I still hate saying this out loud, but I say, “I’m a vampire. I don’t need to eat as much as other people.”

“You need to eat sometime though, yeah?” he asks.

“Yes. _ Sometime _. Not now,” I say.

“Why?”

I huff and avert eye contact before I say it. “I don’t like it when people watch me eat… My fangs come out.”

“Even with regular food?”

“Even with regular food.”

“I’ve never noticed,” he says.

“I’m careful not to eat in front of people. Especially people that have been trying to prove I’m a vampire for years.”

He looks away guiltily.

There’s an awkward silence between us for a time. But then he walks up to me and runs his fingers through my hair while I look away.  
  
“You know I don’t care about that anymore, right?” he asks.

I have a two week catalog of his thoughts in my mind. I do know that. The daft fool thought my fangs were cool. They’re anything but.

He grabs a fist full of my hair and firmly forces me to look at him.

I’m afraid my breath hitched. I love it when he takes control. It makes me feel like he wants me just as much as I want him.

He looks me in the eyes for a moment then gives me a proper snog. 

**SIMON**

I walk into the room and I’m completely starkers. Everything feels unfamiliar, despite it being our room, but nothing feels wrong.

Baz is on his bed, shirtless. He looks at me and smirks.

“Take off your trousers,” I command him. I’ve been wanting to tell him that for a long time but it came out more demanding than I wanted.

Luckily he looks more than happy to oblige.

I walk up to him and hook my fingers in the waistband of his pants. Every bone in my body is telling me to just pull them down, but I resist so I can look at him for approval first. He nods and then I slide them down.

I aggressively yank him to the edge of the bed by his legs, then stand between them. He wraps his legs around the small of my back.

It takes all the effort I have to ask this instead of proceeding, but I ask, “are you sure you want this?”

**BAZ**

I wake up to Simon mumbling in his sleep.

I sigh, feeling frustrated. I was just having the best dream too.

I must have moved or something because Simon wakes up too. We’re facing each other and he gives me these slow and sleepy blinks.

“Go back to sleep,” I tell him quietly.

“Roll over,” he mumbles.

I do and he scoots toward me, pulls me into his arms and spoons me. I enjoy this more than I will ever admit to anyone ever.

I’m surprised I woke up from that. Normally I sleep really well on a full stomach.

When Simon came back from dinner he brought lots of food with him. More than necessary. He really wanted to make sure I had enough to eat.

Then we kissed for almost an eternity. But eventually he started smelling better and better and I realized I needed to feed. So I went to the catacombs.  
  
Simon asked if he could come with me and I told him “fuck no.”

When I got back, he was asleep in my bed.

I considered sleeping in his bed so I wouldn’t wake him, then I realized he probably did that intentionally so I would get into the same bed as him.

I feel his hot lips kiss the back of my neck. Getting into bed with him was definitely the right choice.


	2. Chapter Two

**BAZ**

Simon Snow has followed me into the forest.

He’s not supposed to be here. I’m hunting. I’m so hungry and he smells so good.   


I try to keep my distance from him, but he keeps following me.   


I cast hunting spell after hunting spell, but I can’t find anything. Not even a squirrel.   


_ I’m so hungry. _

My mouth is full of fangs and feels too dry. My stomach feels like a void.   


Simon gets closer and I can hear his heart beating. I can smell him. He smells like a sticky cinnamon roll. I can smell the hot sweet warmth.

“Stay away,” I warn. I try to sound threatening but my fangs giving me a lisp.

I keep trying hunting spells, putting the weight of my magic into them, but I can’t find anything. I need to find something.

He keeps getting closer, and I growl, “leave, Snow!”   


He doesn’t stop walking towards me, and I keep walking backwards until I hit a tree.   


“Please,” I beg. I don’t want to bite him. I’m so hungry and he smells so good.   


I’m panting and I feel tears welling and I say, “run! Please!”

He looks pained and says, “I can’t.”

I grab him go in for the bite. 

**SIMON**

I wake up to Baz screaming.   


He fell out of bed and when I look over, his cheeks are full. He’s looking at me, terrified. His face is wet. I can see it shine in the moonlight.   


“Baz,” I say gently.   


He ignores me.   


After he catches his breath, he gets up and storms out of the room.

I sigh and lay back down.

We’ve always been plagued with nightmares, but I think we’ve both been having weird dreams every night all week. At least I have.   


Some are good. Yesterday I had a dream that I was in The Captive Prince. I was Damianos and Baz was Laurent. We still looked like ourselves but I could just tell we were them. The setting and clothing looked like something from the book. But instead of fighting, we kissed. We kissed a lot. (Which we do while awake too.) (I still haven’t finished the book and Baz told me it’s actually a trilogy.)

The night before was another nightmare though.   


I thought since we started dating I’d stop having nightmares about him biting me, but I guess not. But now he at least doesn’t seem to want to bite me in them anymore. And it’s partially my fault in them because I don’t give him space when he asks for it. I want to, but sometimes in my dreams I feel like I have control, and sometimes I feel like I’m acting out a part and it’s hard to break away.

**BAZ**

I’m starting to think sleeping in bed with Simon isn’t such a great idea.

I adore every second we touch, and waking up in his arms is the most angelic thing I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t even think I was capable of experiencing angelic things.   


But I think having him so close while I’m not fully conscious is dangerous. I think I smell him in my sleep. This is the second time I’ve dreamt about biting him. It feels so real in the dream.

After the first one, I made sure I fed before bed every night. But tonight I did and still had the dream.   


Now I’m hunting rats in the catacombs for the second time tonight. Apparently six isn’t enough.   


I drain another four and I feel too full. I feel sick. Yet, I don’t think any amount of rats will make Simon smell any less tempting.   


When I finally get back to our room, Simon is asleep in my bed. I decide to sleep in his.

* * *

I know Simon likes to get up early for breakfast. I’ve accepted that.   


He gets up, quietly gets ready and goes to breakfast. Then he stuffs his mouth with scones and talks to Bunce for an hour or so until I get there.

This morning he had forgone the ‘quiet’ part of the routine. He’s mumbling to himself while moving about the room.   


“Would you kindly shut up?” I say with a little more malice than I intended. I’m tired and it’s hard to be polite when he’s being so inconsiderate.   


He keeps mumbling. It’s driving me mad.   


“Please,” I beg, trying to be nicer.   


He still doesn’t stop.   


I finally sit up and shout, “shut up, you fucking numpty!”   


I look around and he’s not here. The mumbling is gone.   


Did I just dream that?   


* * *   


When I get to the dining hall, Simon’s eyes light up when he sees me and he waves me over. Bunce smiles and Wellbelove tries to look indifferent but fails. She’s definitely still a little bitter but she’ll get over it. (If she doesn’t, oh well.)

I sit down and see Simon has saved me a pot of tea and a cup. He’s turning into one of my minions.   


I kiss him on the cheek and thank him. Only the special minions get kisses.   


“Bunce, are you sparkling?” I ask noticing a shimmer.   


She groans and Simon says, “don’t get her started again.”

“She didn’t even ask me!” Bunce says.   


“She was just trying to be helpful,” Simon says.   


“Well, she wasn’t helpful,” Bunce says, and looks at me. “Trixie did my laundry with hers.”

I sigh on her behalf. Having a pixie for a roommate would be a nightmare.   


“Now,” she continues angrily, “there’s pixie dust all over my clothes and I can’t spell it out.”

“It’s just a slight shimmer,” I say.

“Look at my socks,” she says.

I peek under the table and her socks look like they’re made of glitter.   


It’s truly horrific, but I look at Simon and can’t help but think that  _ Simon would look gorgeous in nothing but glittery pants and socks. _

“What?” Simon asks, shyly.   


Crowley. I must be making a dumb face. I carefully school it to my usual unreadable expression.   


“Have you tried  **spark off** ?” I ask.

“That could start a fire,” Bunce says.   


“You think I don’t know a plethora of spells to put out a fire? I can literally put out fire with fire.” I say.

“How?” Simon asks.   
  
“ **Fight fire with fire** ,” I say.

“Alright,” Bunce says. “Take away my twinkle.”   


For a moment I think she said, “ _ take away my twink, _ ” and I look at Simon and think  _ gladly _ . Love apparently makes me stupid.

He gives me an odd look and I ignore it.

“ ** _Spark off!_ ** ” I say, pointing my wand at Bunce. It works like a charm. The sparkles lose their shine and disappear completely.   


“Thank you, Basil.”

**SIMON**

I could swear, Baz was saying the weirdest stuff under his breath at breakfast. I heard something about glittery pants and twinks. But no one else seemed to. Maybe I just misheard.

I decided not to ask him about it. There’s more important stuff going on today.   


For one, we have to talk about his nightmares. I’m pretty sure I know what they’re about. I’ve been having the same nightmare and I don’t get upset over it, so he shouldn’t either. I need to tell him that I know he will never bite me. Even if he isn’t sure.   


For two, we have an exam in Magical Words right now. Baz and I have been playing that strip studying game all week and I still haven’t gotten to see him in his pants. Merlin, I’ve been studying hard to get him out of his trousers, but there’s too many spells. I don’t know how Baz and Penny remember them all.   


The exams are placed in front of us. Baz says, “good luck,” and squeezes my hand.

I write my name at the top and look at the first question.

“1.) Name a spell to make yourself cry.”

Ugh. It’s not good when you don’t know the first answer on an exam.   


I know Baz told me this one, but I remember thinking, “why would anyone ever need to know that?” So, I just forgot about it.

_ Crocodile tears. _

Did Baz just whisper that to me?   


I look and he is focusing on the exam. He doesn’t even notice me looking at him.   


I must have just remembered that. I write that down and look at the next question.

“2.) Name a sleep aid spell.”

_ Sleep like the dead. Sleep like a log. Sleep like a baby. _

I look at Baz.

_ Don’t let the bedbugs bite. _

His lips aren’t moving and he still isn’t noticing me looking at him.   


How am I thinking of these so quickly? Did he wish me luck with magic? That’s cheating.   


I write one down and look at the next question.

“3.) Name an offensive spell.”

_ Pinch punch first of the month. _

I remember that one. I had forgotten about it until now.

Baz used it on me in our fourth year. It hurt. If felt like actually getting punched. When I did it back, he said, “ ** _slap and a kick for being so quick!_ ** ” That hurt worse. Then he did it to me again a month later, but added, “ ** _No returns of any kind_ ** **,** ” and the ‘ **slap and a kick** ’ thing didn’t even work when I tried to do it back.

I write it down and go to the next question.   


Again, the answer just pops in my head. It happens with every question up until the last one.   


I can’t believe Baz would cast a luck spell on me. I know I wouldn’t have gotten every question right without it, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have failed either. I know he’s called me a sorry excuse for a mage before, but I thought he was exaggerating to be a prick. I didn’t think he really thought so little of me.   


Baz and I both turn in our exams at the same time.   


I try to storm away from him to our room but he’s keeping up with me easily. Jammy bastard with his long legs.   


“How’d it go?” he asks me when we get outside.   


“I think you know,” I tell him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” he says, stopping me by grabbing my arm.

“Of course you’re sure,” I say bitterly.   


“You were improving. I know the exam couldn’t have gone that badly,” he says.

“I’m stupid, but I’m not completely stupid. I know you spelled me for good luck,” I say.

He looks at me confused. “I didn’t do that. I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Then how’d I know the answers?” I ask.

“Because we studied everyday, you dolt.”

_ Did I just know the answers?   
_

“Yes,” Baz says and takes my hand.

**BAZ**

I can’t believe Simon thought I would have cheated. My mother was headmistress for Crowley’s sake. I would never compromise the validity of the school.   


But now that the test is over, we can finally relax. I promised him I’d read him more Harry Potter. He asked me if I’d read him The Captive Prince, but I told him he can read that on his own. I definitely don’t want to read that out loud.

When we get to our room, he sits on my bed. Normally he’d be pinning me to the wall kissing me the second we were alone.   


I sigh and get out the Harry Potter books. I take out The Sorcerer's Stone and get on the bed with Simon.

“Before we read,” Simon says, “I think we should talk about the nightmares.”

I don’t want to say this. “I think we should both sleep in our own beds for now on.”

“No! They’re just dreams,” he says.

“Dreams where I try to bite you then wake up craving your blood. You really want that next to you while you sleep?”

“I have the same dream and it doesn’t bother me,” he says.   


“You dream that I try to bite you?” I ask.

“Yes.”

That makes my heart sink. It’s perfectly understandable. And he absolutely should be afraid of me. But it still hurts to know it with certainty.   


“Isn’t there a spell for nightmares?” he asks.

“I’ve been casting  **rest assured ** on us for years. I think we developed a tolerance to it,” I tell him.

“You’ve been casting things on me without asking?” he asks with his voice raising a bit.

“Your nightmares were waking me up. And we hated each other so it wasn’t like I could ask.”  _ I didn’t hate you. I just had to pretend to. _

He kisses me. He gives me soft gentle kisses.   


It always takes me a moment to give them back. I have to remember that I’m allowed to. That I don’t have to push him away anymore.   


But I eventually do give them back. I kiss him with the same loving tenderness he uses to kiss me. I set the book down and run my fingers through his golden curls.   


He stops and says, “please sleep with me.”

For a moment my heart stops because I think he’s asking… But then I realize what he means.

“I can’t. It’s too dangerous,” I tell him.   


“You’re not going to bite me. And even if you did, you’d be stuck with my pious face forever, and that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”   


I roll my eyes then shake my head.    
  
“I could never do that to you,” I say.

“Exactly!” He says.

“Not on purpose. But while I’m sleeping, who knows.”

“You wake up before you bite me,” he says.   


He’s right. “How do you know that?”

He looks uncharacteristically thoughtful for a second then says, “I don’t know. I guess that’s what happened in my dreams, so I just. Forget it. I’m dumb.”

“What happens in your dreams?” I ask.

“You go into the forest and I follow you… You tell me to go but I keep following. Your hunting spells don’t work and eventually I corner you into a tree. You tell me to go and I want to, but I can’t. Then I wake up before you bite me.”

“How long have you been having that specific dream?” I ask.

“Just over the last week.”

_ Strange. I’ve been having the same dream for years. _

“Years?” Simon asks.   


_ … Simon? _

“Yes?”

_ Oh fuck. _

“What?”

_ Simon. _

“ _ Why aren’t his lips moving?” _ Simon thinks.

_ … Simon… _

“ _ Oh fuck. Baz? _ ”

_ Something is terribly wrong.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) Thank you to Harry and Ari. 
> 
> 2.) I tried to make things clear, but if anything was confusing I can explain.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics = being said telepathically intentionally or being heard intentional or not.  
If there’s no quotes, it’s the narrator saying/thinking it. If there are quotes, it’s the other dork.  
(Sometimes they can hear something that’s not in italics. I’m trying really hard to be clear with what’s happening, but it’s difficult.)
> 
> Also there’s a Captive Prince quote. It’s not really a spoiler, but just a heads up in case you really don’t wanna accidentally get something spoiled if you intend to read it.

**BAZ**

“Shut up!” I yell in the quiet library.

“I wasn’t saying anything,” Simon whines.   
  
“Well, you were thinking loudly,” I say.

“If you two are going to argue, can you do it in you heads please? Thank you,” Bunce says, without actually waiting for an answer.

“_ Sorry, Baz… _” Simon thinks.

_ It’s okay. Sorry for yelling… Just try to think more quietly, please.  
_

This mind reading thing is a nightmare. I seem to be able to control what Simon does and doesn’t hear somewhat well as long as I’m actively trying, but he has no control over his thoughts. They fade in and out every so often.

You’d think someone who actively and successfully tries not to think would be better at this.

“‘_ Humans typically have multiple dreams per night that grow longer as sleep draws to a close,’ _” Simon reads in his head.

We’re all looking at books that have anything to do with dreams or telepathy.  
  
“‘_Dreams typically involve elements from waking lives…’_ _This is boring. I wonder what they’re going to serve at dinner. I hope it’s roast beef. If you have sex in a dream, are you a virgin? They better not serve black pudding again. Roast beef everyday, I can live with. But I draw the line of black pudding for more than two days in a row. What time is it?_” he babbles in his mind.

I’ve been trying to read the same page of my book for over five minutes.

“_ Baz? BAZ? _"

_ What? _

“_ What time is it? _”

I sigh in my mind for his benefit.

_ Dinner won’t start for an hour. _

“_ Okay. Thanks. _”

After we figured out we could hear each other’s thoughts, we tested some things. First we tried reading the other’s mind while the other tried to hide their thoughts. Mostly, Simon couldn’t hear mine. But I could hear all of Simon’s.

I tried to block myself from hearing Simon’s thoughts, but that doesn’t seem to work well. I would apologize for the intrusion but I already had two weeks of his thoughts from the loop in my head. More won’t make a huge difference. His thoughts are so innocent compared to mine.

“_ ‘The ancient Egyptians believed that dreams were communications from the gods, or prophecies of what was to come.’ Baz is Egyptian. Am I a god? No. I think I’d know if I were. But then again I didn’t know I was The Chosen One. _”

We tried physically distancing ourselves but that didn’t seem to affect volume at all.

“_ BAZ! _”

_ Yes? _

“_ Someone wrote in this book. It says, ‘Roses are red.Violets are blue.I thought Voldemort was ugly. But then I saw you.’ _”

_ And? _

“_ That’s mean. _”

_ You know they can’t see you, right? _

“_ I know. But it’s still mean. _”

_ It’s not even that good. _

“_ Do you have a better one? _”

_ Roses are red. Grass is green. You’re the best thing to ruin my life. Was that mean? _

Simon bursts out laughing. I can’t help but smile.

“What is so funny?” Bunce asks, a little annoyed. (She feels like Simon isn’t taking this seriously enough.) (She’s not wrong.)

“Snow is getting distracted by the graffiti in his book,” I tell her.

Simon keeps laughing and Penny glares at us, then gets up to find another book.

“_ Roses are red. Violets are blue. I love your hairdo. _”

_ That’s terrible.   
_

_ Roses are red. My boyfriend is Snow. This certainly makes him my only hoe. _

“_ Hey! _”

_ Hahahahah! _

“_ Roses are red. Baz is a Pitch. This certainly makes him my only bitch. _”

I think something that I’m afraid sounds a lot like “_ harrumph _.” I have no idea if that slipped through and he heard it or not.

_ Roses are red. This is a sign. Simon Snow is all mine. _

“_ Roses are red. A lion roars. You’re right. I’m all yours. _

I lift his hand and kiss it.

He looks at me with his mouth slightly hanging open.

“_ He’s so beautiful. I want to kiss him, _ ” Simon thinks.

I grab Simon by the back of the head and start snogging him in the middle of the library.

Simon’s mind finally goes quiet.

He runs his fingers through my hair. I love his feeling his fingers glide over my scalp.

“Hey! Love birds!” Penny yells. “Do you two wanna be stuck like this forever?”

“_ Maybe, _” Simon thinks, hand still in my hair.

“You’re right,” I say and go back to trying to read.

Simon’s hand drops.

“_ This wouldn’t be so bad though, would it? _”

_ Simon. It’s hard to think while being constantly bombarded by your thoughts. If we could control this, it might be okay. But we can’t. And for all we know, things could get worse. _

“_ Worse how? _”

_ I don’t know. _

**SIMON**

Thank magic, there’s roast beef.

I pile it on my plate like I’ve done so many times before.

Baz took the books up to the room while Penny and I go to dinner. I’m going to bring some up to him when we’re done. I don’t know how he managed to survive so long without eating in front of anyone.

When I turn to go sit at our table, I trip. As I fall my instincts are to save the roast beef and not my head. There’s a sharp pain and everything goes black for a moment.

When I open my eyes, everything is too bright and there’s a loud ringing sound that slowly turns into laughter. One person’s laughter.

When I sit up everything is spinning and I see Marcus standing over me.

“Did you surriously juss trip me?” I ask, slurring my words.

I feel nauseous and everything is hazy. My head is throbbing. I know this feeling. It’s a concussion. I got one once while fighting goblins.

_ Baz? _

_ BAZ? _

_ I need your help. _

I look at my roast beef and despite my best efforts, the plate is still shattered next to me.

Next thing I know, Penny is helping me up and threatening Marcus.

I’m having a hard time following what they’re saying. I think Penny just threatened to spell his bollocks off.

“Why do you even bother?” I ask. “You know Baz n’ I could kick your arse.”

“You two are going to have bigger problems than me to deal with,” he says as Penny starts walking me out of the dining hall with my arm over her shoulders.

What does that mean?

_ Baz? _

When we get outside I tell Penny I need to sit down. I sit down on the ground against the wall.

_ Baz! _

“** _Get well soon!_ ** ” Penny says, pointing her ring at me.

It makes my head feel a bit better but I’m still tired and dizzy. Healing spells aren’t the best at fixing brain injuries. They don’t really work on mental illnesses either.

“Can you summon Baz?” Penny asks, looking worried. I don’t know if she can help me all the way back to the room by herself.

“I’m trying. I don’t think he can hear me right now,” I tell her.

“_ I wonder if I can wank before they come back, _” I hear in Baz’s voice.

_ Baz? _

“_ Simon? _” Baz thinks in a surprised voice.

“Wait,” I say to Penny, putting a hand up.

_ Perfect timing. We need your help. We’re outside of the dining hall. Can you come and get us? _

“_ Get you? What happened? _”

_ Penny will explain when you get here. _

“_ I’m on my way. _”

“He’s on his way,” I tell Penny.

I lean back against the wall and take deep breaths.

After a couple minutes Baz thinks, “_ Why are Simon’s thoughts so quiet? Where’s all the babbling? _”

I don’t think he meant for me to hear that. He’s pretty good at controlling his thoughts, but some slip out.

When he sees us, he jogs up to us asking, “What happened?”

“Marcus attacked him,” Penny tells him.

“_ I’m going to kill him. _”

“He didn’t attack me. He just tripped me,” I say.

“Are you alright?” Baz asks.

“I think he has a concussion,” Penny says.

“Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Baz asks.

“No. I just need to lay down,” I say.

“Alright,” Baz says, and gives me his hand. I take it and he hoists me up. He puts my arm over his shoulders like Penny did, but he has to crouch because he’s so bloody tall, and wraps an arm around my waist.

“Penny, can you go get a plate of roast beef?” Baz asks.

She does, and Baz starts walking me to Mummers House.

“I wish I could carry you bridal style,” Baz jokes.

“It would be easier,” I say.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?” I say.

Baz looks around us and the coast seems to be clear, so he picks me up with one arm holding my legs and the other supporting my back. I wrap my arms around his neck. 

**BAZ**

After we got Simon in bed, Bunce and I start going through books again. Apparently Simon isn’t supposed to read, or sleep or do anything until he starts feeling better.

I’m a little concerned because I know I can hear him right now, but he isn’t thinking much. I constantly check in.

_ Simon? _

“_ Yeah? _”

_ Are you alright? _

“_ You can assume I am unless I pass out. _”

I frown at the thought.

Penny is making a list of possible causes.

“So, it could be a curse,” she says and writes that first.

“And,” she continues, “I was thinking, it could be a nature spirit.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You guys bother the dryads a lot. The nature spirits watch over them and they have been known to harass people that disturb the peace.”

She’s missing the obvious. I don’t know if this is like what my family does and they’re ignoring this problem or if it honestly didn’t occur to them. But they both know I’m a vampire. This is probably my fault. Vampires are known for having psychic influences. For all I know I have powers I don’t know how to control.

I know Simon didn’t explicitly confirm to Bunce what I am, but I’m sure has surmised based on him not explicitly denying what I am.

All I can think, while she makes her list is _ vampire, vampires, vampire. _

“I think you’re missing the obvious,” Simon says.

Fuck. A thought must have slipped through.

“This is probably my fault,” he says.

Wait, what?

“I probably said something with magic by accident again,” he says, looking glum.

“Oh, Si,” Penny says looking worried.

“_ But maybe this isn’t bad. If I can talk to you without speaking out loud, I won’t accidentally cast anything anymore. _”

  
“Simon. I told you I can’t think with you in my head. And I can’t talk for you all the time,” I say out loud. 

“_ But this was probably my fault, and who knows what else I could accidentally do. _”

“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” I tell him.

“_ Yeah. We shouldn't, _” he thinks, giving me a look.

So he did hear my vampire theory.

“Baz is right. We should try to rule out the other possibilities before we jump to that,” Bunce says.

“But,” she continues, “we should add it to the list. Any other ideas?”

I’m about to say it could involve my vampirism when I hear, “_ don’t. _”

_ We should consider it. _

“_ We can consider it when the other stuff doesn’t pan out. _”

_ Okay. _

“No, that’s it,” I say.

“Okay. We should start trying to rule things out. I think the easiest one will be a curse. We have to make a curse test. We just need a ravens feather, a spriggan flower, raw milk, and tears of a virgin. That should be easy enough, right?”

When I hear “tears of a virgin,” I look at Simon wonder if he’s a virgin. We never talked about that. After a moment I realize he’s giving me a weird look, then I hear, “_ is he not a virgin? _”

Bunce mistakes our awkward looks for something else and says, ”For heaven's snakes, you two! It hasn’t even been a week!” (Not angrily. Just judgmentally.)(It’s not like she’s offering her own tears.)

Simon and I both start to correct her, but she raises her hands and says, “I don’t want to know.”

There’s an awkward silence, then I say, “Let’s also do what needs to be done for the nature spirits tonight. I’d like this to be over with before tomorrow. It’ll be a nightmare to have Simon in my head during class.”

“Alright. While we’re getting ingredients for the curse test, we might as well get what we need for the nature spirits. It should be easy as well,” she says and picks up a book called Exotic Creatures and How to Spot Them.

She reads out loud: “The Taphualae are nature spirits known to protect dryads and other magical creatures… They can play tricks on the psyche of a victim… To ward them away… Stevie Nicks and Gracie Slick… You’re supposed to bathe in fresh goat’s milk and aspects of nature.”

“Aspects of nature?” Simon asks.

“I think it means like twigs and flowers found in the Wavering Wood,” she tells him.

“How are we supposed to get enough goat’s milk to fill the bath?” Simon asks.

“I think it can be mixed with water,” I say.

Bunce nods. 

**SIMON**

They both left to gather the ingredients. I’m supposed to just lay here and do nothing. I feel better now though.

I did my best to explain to Baz how to milk a goat before they left. I hope he doesn’t hurt it.

I lay in bed for about twenty minutes before I get too bored and fish out The Captive Prince. I lay back on my bed with it and start reading where I left off.

“_ ‘Trust you?' said Damen. 'You flayed the skin from my back. I have seen you do nothing but cheat and lie to every person you've encountered. You use anything and anyone to further your own ends. You are the last person I would ever trust.' _”

“_ Simon, you’re supposed to be resting. _”

_ I feel fine now. How’s milking the goat? _

The “out” part of our thoughts fading in and out are becoming farther and fewer in between.

“_ The goatherd came out to help me. _”

_ Oh! Tell Ebb I said hi!  
_

“_ We’re supposed to be keeping our telepathy secret, Simon. _”

_ Oh right. _

Something smells good. What is that?

“_ There’s a plate of roast beef for you on the desk. _”

I didn’t mean for him to hear that last bit.

I think _ thanks _anyways.

I get up and pick up the plate. They didn’t bring me any silverware so I just eat it with my hands.

“_Simon. I think you should know I really do hear most of your thoughts. I hear pretty much everything._”

_ Oh. Sorry. I’ll try to think more quietly. _

“_ I didn’t mean to complain... I just wanted to warn you that you have no privacy. _”

_ Oh... Okay. I’ll keep that in mind. _

After I think that, I realize the irony of it, then I realize Baz can hear that, then I realize Baz can hear me realizing Baz can hear that.

I try to focus on the roast beef. I don’t think this is what I was smelling. But it doesn’t matter because I’m hungry and it’s roast beef.

_ Do you mind if I keep reading? I’m really bored. _

“_ Go ahead. We’re almost done anyways. _”

_ Thank you. _

I pick back up where I left off reading. I try not to think anything extra. I try not to make mental notes or anything that could disturb Baz.

When Penny and Baz get back I almost throw the book across the room so I wont be seen with it, but then I remember the cover looks innocuous so I set it on the nightstand.

I see Baz grin and stifle a laugh.

They set all the things on the desk.

“First things first,” Penny says, “let’s see if this is a curse.”

She picks up a bowl and puts some milk and a vial of clear liquid in it.

_ Where’d she get the tears? _

“_ I have no idea. _”

“Okay. One of you will have to bleed in it,” she says.

“_ Simon… I don’t know if this will work with vampire blood. _”

“I’ll do it,” I say.

I get up, call for the sword of mages, and use it to nick my thumb pad, and let a drop fall in.  
  
“ _ Simon, _” Baz thinks sounding panicked.

_ What? _

“_ My sodding fangs popped out. _”

_ What do you want me to do? _

“_ Ask me to take out your plate. _”

“Baz? Can you take out the plate?” I say out loud.

He takes it and leaves without saying anything.

“That couldn’t wait?” Penny asks.

“The smell was making me nauseous. It’s a concussion thing,” I explain.

“_ Nice save, _” Baz thinks.

_ Thanks. _

“Okay,” Penny says, turning her attention back to the mixture. She dips the raven feather and stirs the mixture with it, then picks up the spriggan flower.

It’s beautiful and slightly glows green at night. During the day it looks like a regular columbine flower.

She removes the raven feather from the bowl and uses it to drop some of the mixture onto the flower. The flower loses all color and turns white.

“What does that mean?” I ask.

“No curse. It would have turned black if there were.”

_ “Fuck _,” Baz whinges in my head.

_ Isn’t that a good thing? _

“_ No. It means we still don’t know what’s happening and now we have to take a bath in milk and twigs… Just make sure the blood is gone when I get back. _”

I take bowl, feather and flower to the window and throw it into the moat.

“Do you ever use the rubbish bin?” Penny chides.

I shrug.

She seems to find that to be an acceptable answer.

“_ You two are ridiculous _.”

“Alright,” Penny says. “Let’s prepare the bath.”

We go in and start filling the tub. (Luckily the shower is a bathtub combo.)

She begins running the water then puts in some twigs, a few stones, some dirt, and a few wild flowers. Then she pours in the goat’s milk and swishes the water around with her hand, mixing it all in. It’s kinda gross at first, but now that it’s filling with water, it’s mostly clear water and not so bad.

Baz comes in and looks at it and thinks, “_ It’s still pretty disgusting. _”

“Okay,” Penny says. “You need to soak in it for at least twenty minutes. I’m going to leave you to it. Good luck and see you at breakfast.”

She leaves and Baz and I are left standing in front of the weird bath.

Do we have to be naked?

“Pants should be fine,” Baz says out loud.

We both slowly take off our clothes. Baz has already seen me in my pants about three times now, but I haven’t seen him in his. I’ve been studying like mad to get him out of his trousers while strip studying. It almost feels like cheating to see him in pants this way. Maybe I shouldn’t look.

Baz pauses right before he’s about to take off his trousers. I look away and he says, “You can look.”

I look.

He slowly unbuttons and unzips his trousers, then slides them off, revealing tight black boxer briefs which are a perfect contrast to his perfect milky white muscular thighs. I want to bite them. I’ve never wanted to bite a thigh before.

I look up and he’s smirking. The areshole can hear everything I’m thinking.

My instinct is to tell him to sod off and give him a shove, but I don’t think shoving is allowed anymore (even if there were no anathema). I’m still a bit unsure of what is and isn’t okay now.

Baz kicks aside his trousers, steps up to me, places a hand on the back of my neck and looks into my eyes.

“_ All the moles on your body are like constellations, and I’ve been desperately wanting to kiss them for years, _” he thinks.

Then he kisses me. He pushes his tongue in my mouth and I feel all the tension in my body leave.

Just as I start to kiss back, he breaks the kiss and carefully steps into the tub, and holds his hands out to help me.

I take his hands and he says, “Careful of the sticks and stones,” as I step in.

It’s nice and warm at least.

I lower myself into the tub and I end up sitting on a pointy stick. I lift up just a bit to push it aside.

When Baz lowers down, I have to bring my knees up to make room for him. When he sits, some of the water in the tub overflows. He doesn’t seem bothered. He stretches his legs out and crosses his ankles next to me.

He reaches over the tub to grab his wand and says, “** _Set alarm for twenty minutes_ **,” and sets it back down. That spell is new. Ever since Amazon's Alexa came out, spells for timers work really well.

I sit with my knees up for a while then it starts to get uncomfortable.

“You can stretch your legs out,” he says.

I do and some more water spills out. There isn’t a whole lot of room in the tub. It’s meant for one person. I end up with my feet on Baz’s lap.

_ Is this okay? _

Baz nods.

This is fairly comfortable now. I lean back and relax.

I wonder where Penny got those tears. I can’t help but imagine her making Trixie cry then taking them. Or even Marcus, then casting a memory wiping spell. I know it’s a real possibility.

She could have used mine. Or maybe even Baz’s.

I know he can hear me think this, but I don’t know the words to ask.

“Yes, my tears would have worked too,” Baz says.

I feel a sense of relief. It would have been fine if he wasn’t a virgin, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

Baz start rubbing my leg lazily. I lean back and close my eyes.

We sit there quietly for a while. Even with the sticks, this is pretty relaxing. I don’t know when the last time I took a bath was.

“I’m not looking forward to the smell when we get out,” Baz says eventually.

_ Can’t we just take a shower and spell everything clean? _

“I think we’re supposed to sleep after soaking and washing off would defeat the purpose.”

Oh well.

“We’re sleeping in your bed tonight,” he says.

“We?”

“Yes,” he says.

“What changed your mind?”

“Whatever odd forces are at work here, I think you were right about me waking up before biting you being a good indicator that I wouldn’t.”

“_ But it still makes me nervous, _” he thinks. And I’m not sure if I was meant to hear that.

A magical chime goes off, letting us know the twenty minutes are over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) Thank you to Harry and Ari.
> 
> 2.) I didn’t write the Voldemort poem. I googled it. The rest I wrote.
> 
> 3.) The book Exotic Creatures and Where to Spot Them is a joke referencing Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.


	4. Chapter Four

**BAZ**

I’m back to sitting with Dev and Neil at breakfast. I sip my tea and try not to look. But I do look because I’m a constant disappointment to myself.

Simon is at his usual table with his arm around Agatha Wellbelove. They’re back together now. They all laugh at something, then Simon and Agatha kiss. It’s like a kick to the chest to see, no matter how many times I’ve seen it before.  


When Agatha turns to look at me, I smirk at her. Getting under Simon’s skin is my consolation prize for not being able to get on top of it.  


When Simon turns to see what she’s looking at and sees me, I sneer.

He doesn’t look mad though. He looks pained.  


I feel a pang of guilt for making him look like that.  


Wellbelove uses her hands to make Simon look at her, then she kisses him again.

**SIMON**

I’m kissing Agatha and it doesn’t feel right at all. I don’t want to be kissing her.  


Well. I do. But it’s more a compulsion than actually wanting to.

Something’s not right. It’s hard to think clearly.

I break the kiss. It isn’t easy and not just because Agatha is refusing to back down. But whatever is happening is important.  


I look back at Baz. He’s not sneering anymore. He’s just watching.

It feels like trying to breath in a vacuum when I do this, but I manage to yell, “Baz!” across the dining hall.

**BAZ**

I cock an eyebrow.

His girlfriend has her hands all over him and he’s calling my name?

“You’re dreaming!” he yells.

That doesn’t make any sense.  


There’s a spell to see if you’re dreaming. I take out my wand and cast, “ ** _Reality check!_ ** "

The tune of Everybody Hurts by R.E.M plays in bells. If it’s not a dream, it’s supposed to be a monotone.

I look back at Simon and he appears to be being molested by Agatha. He’s kissing her back but it looks reluctant and it also looks like he’s trying to push her away.

I get up and run to him.

He’s trying to talk in between their kisses.  


“Make,” he says and she pulls him into another kiss. “Her stop,” he finishes when he gets his mouth free again.

I physically pull her off of him.

“This is your dream, Baz. You’re controlling it,” he says, catching his breath.

Agatha is squirming in my hands. “Let me go, Basil!”  


“She’s not real,” Simon says.  


“Are you real?” I ask him.

“Yeah, I think so.”

I concentrate really hard on making everyone disappear. I close my eyes and focus really hard on it. The chatter in the dining all goes quiet, then…

_ If you change your mind, I'm the first in line _ __   
_ Honey I'm still free _ _   
_ __ Take a chance on me

I open my eyes and Simon jumps out of bed wearing only pajama bottoms. We’re in our room.

“It’s not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock you fucking numpty,” I say, not wanting to say it.

“I think we’re in my dream now. I feel… Free.”

“That makes… One of us,” I say, struggling to say it. It’s like I have to go against every natural instinct to say what I need to say.

I start walking to the door.

“Fight it,” he tells me.

I try. Merlin, it’s like trying to hold your breath for a long time. Too long.

I manage to walk more slowly for a moment. But just as I feel like maybe I’m about to gain control, I lose it and quickly stride toward the door.

I open it, walk through and slam it behind me.  


Now everything is pitch black. Not even I can see. Are my eye even open? I can’t tell.

I focus really hard on opening my eyes.

Then my eyes do open.  


I’m in my room again, but it’s night. I look next to me and Simon’s sleeping. He looks so peaceful.  


He jerks and wakes up looking wide eyed and panicked.  


“Are you alright?” I ask him.

“Are we still dreaming?  


I take out my wand and say, “ ** _Reality check!_ ** ”  


B flat plays, sounding like a hearing test.

“No. This is real,” I tell him.

“So, it’s not nature spirits?”

“No,” I sigh.  


“ _ That’s a shame. I kinda wanted to meet them _ ,” I hear Simon think to himself.  


I roll my eyes.  


“Get up,” I say.  


“Why?” he asks.   


“We’re going to take a shower. The goat’s milk is going sour.”

We’re still both only in our pants. It didn’t seem sensible to get clothes dirty.

I go in and turn on the shower and wait for it to get warm. Simon sleepily walks up next to me, rubbing his eyes.  


When it’s warm enough we both step in, still in our pants. First I get under the stream. I use my body wash and scrub it all over me. I even put it in my hair. I’m too tired to bother with the shampoo and conditioner routine. I just need to get all the nature off me.

“ _ Should I be helping him? _ ” Simon thinks to himself.  


My breath catches when I hear that. Crowley, I desperately want to say yes. But I don’t think now is the right time to be fulfil that fantasy, so I just pretend I didn’t hear it.  


When I’m done I move out of the stream and gently push Simon in front of it. He sleepily rubs himself. He’s doing an awful job. I hope he cleans himself more thoroughly usually.  


I sigh, then put some body wash on my hands and start rubbing him with it. I’d rather be doing this for fun than necessity, but I will not have my boyfriend smelling like sour milk.  


First I rub it all over his back, then I massage it into his hair. He lets out a quiet sigh that’s almost a moan. I try not to think about that. I grab him by the shoulders and spin him around and wash his chest, then his arms, and under his arms. I don’t think he’s ticklish at all.

Once it’s all rinsed off, I put on hand on the back of his head, lean in and give him a kiss. Then I reach behind him and turn the water off.  


We step out and towel off.

“Let’s put on some fresh pants, yeah?” Simon asks.

I nod.  


I go get a fresh pair out of my wardrobe, then go into the bathroom to change while he changes in the room.

When I come out I take the blankets and sheets off Simon’s bed and throw them out the door.

Simon gives me a puzzled look and I say, “It’s already starting to smell bad. We’ll wash it tomorrow.”

When I get in my bed, he hesitates.  


“Won’t we just have more nightmares again?” he asks.  


“Not all of our dreams have been nightmares,” I say.

“... I really don’t want to kiss Agatha again,” he says.

The thought makes me sneer out of habit.  


“Well, we can’t stay awake forever. We’ll have to sleep eventually,” I say.  


“Oh! I have an idea!” he says too loudly.  


“Cast that nightmare spell,” he says.  


“We have a tolerance to it,” I remind him.

“Just trust me.”

I get my wand out and he puts a hand on my arm, pushing in some of his magic. It feels too good. It feels so good it actually scares me. Is this how he feels all the time?  


The only time we’ve done this (in this timeline) was when I was casting the thought spell on him and he nearly fainted. I didn’t want to risk doing it again so I haven’t brought it up since.  


But he’s doing it now and it feels amazing. I feel so powerful.  


“Cast it,” he reminds me.

“ ** _Rest assured!_ ** ”

He lets go and I try not to mourn the loss of it. At least he seems fine.

We shift around in the bed to get comfortable.  


I end up being the little spoon again. His forehead is against the back of my neck and his arm is around me, keeping me warm.

As I drift to sleep I suddenly feel weightless.  


I open my eyes and I’m underwater, surrounded by colorful corral and seaweed. The song Octopus’s Garden is playing, sounding slightly warped from the water.  


I turn around and see Simon.  


“Is this your dream or mine?” Simon asks.  


“I’m not sure. But I feel compelled to kiss you,” I tell him.

“I do too,” he says.  


“Should we try to resist?” I ask.

“Why?” he asks, pulling me closer by the hip.  


I had a reason but now that I’m looking into his blue eyes, I’ve forgotten it.  


I kiss him and he wraps his legs around my waist.

* * *

When I wake up, I’m on my back and Simon is half on top of me. His head his on my chest, his left leg is in between mine and I can feel his… Manhood against my thigh.  


I swallow so loud I think I woke him up because he begins to sir. His hips slightly gyrate against me and I desperately try not to think about the fact that there's only a thin layer of fabric separating it from me.

He stops moving, still asleep.  


I don’t think I can take this anymore. I look at the time and it’s late enough that I can use breakfast starting soon as an excuse for us to get up.

But I’m not sure if I want to get up. The weight of him on top of me feels so good.  


He slowly thrusts against my thigh, and if it wasn’t for my vampirism, I think it would leave a bruise.

I hear him moan in my head. I think I’m hearing his dream.

For Crowley’s sake. I’m going to need him awake when he does this. It doesn’t sit well with me to let this go on while he’s sleeping.  


“Simon,” I say softly and pet his head.  


He slowly thrusts against my thigh and I hear the moan in my head again, and I nearly yell, “Simon!”   


He sleepily lifts his head and says, “Hmm? Are we awake now?”

Just to be sure, I pick up my wand from the nightstand and cast, “ ** _Reality check!_ ** ”  


B flat plays. We both let out a small sigh of relief. 

**SIMON**

When we get to breakfast we tell Penny about the dreams. She looks pretty worried and Baz looks tense.  


“I guess after class we have to start from scratch to figure out what it could be,” she said.  


Baz sighs, and says, “We have to fix this before tomorrow. I have another football game. I can’t play with him in my head.”

“Well, let’s just to that spell to see what I said with magic accidentally again,” I say.

“ _ Or we can admit I’m a vampire and I’m doing this somehow, _ ” Baz thinks to me.

“That’s probably our best bet,” Penny admits. (To my idea.)

Baz sighs again and says, “he almost feinted when we did that. I don’t want to do that again unless we absolutely have to.”

“Alright. We can go to the library after class and see what else there is,” she says.

Baz is looking at me like I’m wasting his time. Maybe I am. If I told Penny Baz was a vampire, I know she wouldn’t tell anyone. It just seems like we should keep it as secret as possible for as long as possible.  


“ _ Just tell her, _ ” Baz whines in my head.

_ No. Not yet.  
_

* * *

Throughout all our classes, Baz has been ignoring me. He’s been passive aggressive. He hasn’t been holding my hand, and he helps me as little as possible. He seems distracted.  


We’re in our last class now. Greek. 

**BAZ**

“ _ I wonder if it’s about the vampire thing, _ ” I hear Simon think.

I’ve been trying to ignore Simon’s thoughts all day, but of course it’s about the vampire thing. This is obviously my fault.

“ _ We should at least see if I said something with magic first. Or maybe it’s something else. There’s more books in the library, _ ” he continues thinking.

I’ve had to listen to his incessant chattering all day. I can’t think. I haven’t been able to follow a word of any of the lectures.  


_ Shut up!  
_

“ _ Sorry. I’ll think more quietly, _ ” he thinks to me.  


“ _ Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. _ ”

I slam my bag on the table, in the middle of the lecture, shove my books in and storm out.

“Where are you going?” I hear Simon yell after me. 

**SIMON**

Penny looks at me like I know what just happened, but I just shrug.  


_ Where are you going? _

Is he ignoring me or can he not hear me right now?

I get up to follow him, and Penny gets up too. We leave the classroom and the hallway is empty. Jammy bastard and his long legs.  


“Where’d he go?” Penny asks.

_ Where’d you go? _

“I don’t know…” I say.

“Did you two have a fight?” she asks.  


I don’t answer.  


I don’t even know the answer.  


“Let’s go to your room,” Penny says. “We can read more and see if we can figure something else out. Maybe that’s what Baz is doing.”  


“Yeah, alright,” I say.  


As we walk to my room I keep trying to talk to Baz.

_ Baz?  
_

_ Are you ignoring me or can you not hear me? _

_ Baz? _

_ Are you mad at me? _

Maybe he just wants to be left alone…

When we get to the room he isn’t there. (And the bedding does smell pretty bad.)

I sit on Baz’s bed. I think the milk might have soaked through the bed because there’s a slight sour smell still.

Penny starts picking up and going through books we’ve already looked at. She flips through pages she’s already read.  


_ Baz… I’m sorry. _

I’ve had Baz angry at me a million times. But this time it’s different. This time it really hurts.  


Shit. I’m starting to tear up.

“Si,” Penny says, noticing. “Is he saying something to you?”

I shake my head.  


“Something had to have happened. What were you thinking before he left?” She asks.  


“I was trying not to think,” I say.    


“And before that?”

**BAZ**

“ _ I’ve had Baz angry at me a million times. But this time it’s different. This time it really hurts, _ ” I hear Simon think.

It feels like a steak to the heart.  


I didn’t think I’d snap at him like that. Just after so many hours I just lost it.  


Now I’ve ignored him and hurt him. I can’t face him after that. So I’m just going to stay in the catacombs forever now. I will live here, feed off vermin and only come out at night to raid the kitchen. Rumors will start and people will think I’m an urban legend.  


I’m sitting against a lumpy wall of skulls that are digging into my back.

Before we left this morning I grabbed my iPod and headphones. I thought it could be used to drown him out if I need to. I turn up the volume. I can still hear him though.

“ _ I was thinking about Baz wanting to tell you he’s a vampire _ .”.

I’m not sure if he’s telling Bunce that, or thinking them to himself. I can pretty much piece together their conversations based on what I hear him think, but I’m trying not to.

“ _ Thank Merlin, Penny doesn’t mind. _ ”

So I guess he did tell her.

Does that mean he’s given up trying to protect me?

**SIMON**

“Well, I figured he was. But I didn’t consider it to be a possible cause of this problem. I don’t know how to rule it out though. There’s not very many books on vampires,” Penny says.  


I should have known I’m too stupid and annoying for Baz to be with for long. If it weren’t for the thought sharing, we’d have gotten to this point eventually. The process just got sped along.

I’m not crying, but my eyes won’t stop watering. No matter how many times I rub them off, the tears come back.  


Penny sits on the bed next to me and hugs me.  


“He’ll come back when he’s ready,” she says. “You two spend every waking moment together. And sleeping moments. He just needs time to clear his head.”

He’ll never be able to clear his head with me in there.  


He’s probably being flooded with all my pathetic thoughts right now.  


That means he knows how I feel and still doesn’t care enough to come back.  


Well, fuck him. Even if he was annoying me to death, I wouldn’t leave him alone if he felt like this.  


_ Fuck you, Baz. Fuck. You. _

Now I’m really crying. I wish Penny weren’t here to see this.  


I think Penny can sense this and says, “I’m going to go to the library and see if I can find out anything on this. I’m sure Baz will be back soon… But if not, then we get to find out if time apart affects the symptoms at all.”

She gives me another hug then leaves. 

**BAZ**

“ _ But, what if being apart is what fixes this? _ ” Simon thinks.

It probably will be. I should have known being with him was hopeless.

He deserves better anyways.

**SIMON**

Once she’s out the door, I’m sobbing.  


I’m sad Baz can’t stand me. I’m mad Baz can’t stand me. I’m afraid he’ll come back. I’m afraid he won’t come back. I’m afraid that being apart is the only solution to this. I’m afraid that’s what Baz wants.  


And I’m so frustrated that I have no idea if Baz is hearing this or not.

I need to break something.  


I get up and kick the leg of his bed a few times. It eventually hurts my toe and I have to stop.  


I think about rifling though his stuff to find something to break. But then I remember the remembrance paragon.

Even though it was in another timeline and doesn’t really count, I think breaking that was the worst thing I’ve ever done. Worse than killing the dragon.

I do what I did last time I felt this hopeless. I sit down on the floor by his wardrobe, get out the remembrance paragon, and cry. The magical warmth that emanates from it is comforting in the most painful way possible. It reminds me of what I’ve done wrong and what I’ve lost but it still feels good.  


I close my eyes and just focus on the feeling of the gem.

I fall backwards and open my eyes. I’m in the Wavering Wood. Did I just teleport?  


Oh no.

The air feels too hot and too dry. There’s this horrible sucking feeling. Like the life is being sucked out of you.  


The Humdrum is here somewhere.  


I get up and look around and I see Baz about fifteen feet away. He’s getting up and looking at me too with a confused look on his face.  


Then I see it behind him. It’s me, but I’m eleven in a ratty old T-shirt and baggy jeans, holding that red ball.

“Baz! Run!” I yell.

Baz doesn’t move. I run to him.

I grab his arm and pull but he doesn’t budge.

“We have to run!” I say.  


The Humdrum starts laughing in that infuriating way it did last time. Like a child that got started laughing and just can’t stop.

“Baz! We need to run!” I yell, tugging at him.  


Blood and yellow liquid starts getting sucked out of our pours.  


“Wait,” Baz says.  


“We can’t fight it!” I yell.  


Baz takes out his wand and says, “ ** _Reality check!_ ** ”

O Fortuna plays in bells, but it doesn't stop the dread. It doesn’t stop the feeling like our souls are being sucked dry.

I pull on Baz again, but he still refuses to go.

“Close your eyes, Simon,” he says and takes my hand.  


It’s hard to fight the urge to run, but I do. I close my eyes.

“Do you feel the warmth in your hand?” he asks.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Focus on it,” he says.  


It’s hard to think over the laughter, but I try.  


I feel the heat radiating up my arm from my hand. I tighten my grip and feel the gem.

The dry sucking feeling fades, the air cools down and the laughter dies out.   


“Open your eyes,” Baz says.  


I open them and I’m back in the room, on the floor with the gem in my hand.

_ Baz? _

“ _ I’m on my way. _ ”

**BAZ**

When I get back Simon is on the floor. His eyes are red and swollen. The sight devastates me.  


I immediately go to him, fall on my knees and hug him tight. Surprisingly, he hugs back.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, over and over again, and run my fingers through his hair.

He doesn’t say anything back. He doesn’t think anything either. I think he’s emotionally exhausted. Or seeing The Humdrum put him in a state of shock.  


The Humdrum was more horrifying than I imagined. Is it actually that terrifying or did his dream exaggerate it?

“It’s actually that terrifying,” he says.  


I wonder if more of my thoughts slip out than he lets on.  


I put the remembrance paragon back in the drawer then help Simon up. I guide Simon to the bed, and he seems to know what I’m doing and gets on it. He scoots over to give me space to get on, and I do. I spoon him, hugging him tightly.

_ I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to cast rest assured. I’m so sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused. I’m sorry. _

I kiss the back of his neck.

“ _ Promise you won’t ignore me like that again? _ ”

_ I swear it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) Thank you to Harry and Ari.
> 
> 2.) In November I’m going to try to do NaNoWriMo. So, I don’t think I’ll be posting more on this story until I’m done with the fic I write for that. And that fic is going to be a Christmas Snowbaz fic. If it goes according to plan, that’ll be posted December 13th. So, this fic is on hiatus until probably December. :( Sorry.
> 
> Update: The Christmas fic has been taking a lot longer to finish than anticipated. (I'm almost done with it.) I fully intend to get back to this eventually.  
But in the meantime, if you like this, you should check out the Christmas fic. I personally think there's some pretty good stuff in it.  
Thanks for reading and sorry for the wait. <3


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